47.

Tonight, I'm going to philosophize over some yummy John Green work in the book Looking for Alaska.

John Green (Looking for Alaska): "We are all going, I thought, and it applies to turtles and turtlenecks, Alaska the girl and Alaska the place, because nothing can last, not even the earth itself. The Buddha said that suffering was caused by desire, we'd learned, and that the cessation of desire meant the cessation of suffering. When you stopped wishing things wouldn't fall apart, you'd stop suffering when they did."
My input: This is bitter. I like it. I despise being condemned for existing as bitter. Bitter in numerous specialties is sensitive. It is protective. In a positive light, if you don't care when things "fall apart" then you can be thankful they did and in return becoming affairs can augment. Not being uptight about "the way things are suppose to be" ferments seeds for what could be.


John Green (Looking for Alaska): "I wanted to be one of those people who have streaks to maintain, who scorch the ground with their intensity. But for now, at least I knew such people, and they needed me, just like comets need tails."
My input: I recognize that feeling. Seems like I am a muse for intellectual but pessimistically unsatisfied boys. I don't necessarily like them, well not at all truly, however I appreciate feeling needed by them. Not in some creepy, "I just adore feeling wanted way", but in knowing I'm a part of something better than what I can do. I don't have some absurdly capable mind to express every bit of intensity or complex realization I have, though it would be nice.


John Green (Looking for Alaska): "After all this time, it seems to me like straight and fast is the only way out- but I choose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows, but I choose it."
My input: Sometimes the worst, ugliest, nastiest path is the scenic route. You have to take it to learn, and learning is what I chose, it is my labyrinth. I hate dismissing my comfort zone, I'm a homebody who feels content when lacking knowledge, but yet, disgusting. I live to live my labyrinth.

John Green (An Abundance of Katherines):"Something about telling that story made my gut grow back together."
"What?"
"Oh, nothing. Just thinking out loud."
"That's who you really like. The people you can think out loud in front of."
My input: Guts seem to speak for than hearts. If I could take one piece of my body wherever I go when I die, I would take my main guts, not my heart. I think I would take my small intestine or my spleen.